


I Will Fall Into Those Eyes and Drown

by StandBehindHouseStark



Series: Jonsa Week 2019 [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Ficlet, Jonsa baby!, Jonsa week, Meaning Jonerice is briefly mentioned, Political Jon Snow, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, briefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-19
Updated: 2019-11-19
Packaged: 2021-02-13 05:36:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21489217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StandBehindHouseStark/pseuds/StandBehindHouseStark
Summary: Jonsa Week Day 1 late entry: Past - Present -Future.5 times Jon was haunted by blue eyes, and the 1 time he wasn’t.
Relationships: Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
Series: Jonsa Week 2019 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1548910
Comments: 20
Kudos: 109
Collections: JonsaWeek2019





	I Will Fall Into Those Eyes and Drown

**I)**

All of Jon Snow’s life was marked by blue eyes. 

When he was a boy, it was Lady Stark’s glare that would frighten him. Whenever he got the best of Robb in the training yard, whenever Arya would run away from her lessons to see him, truly any time he came across Catelyn Stark, he was always met with that same icy glare. When she would turn her attention to her own children, however, that ice instantly gave way as she looked at them with nothing but love.

It made Jon sad. He wondered about his own mother. If she knew him, would she look upon him as such? _Did_ she know about him? Did she care? Was she even alive?   
  
Jon wanted to hate Lady Stark, but he never could. Even as a child he knew what his status as a bastard meant. He knew that his very existence was an insult to her, proof of Lord Stark’s dishonor. For him to be raised in the same Keep as her; alongside her trueborn children, receiving the same education as them was almost unheard of. Jon understood why she hated him so, why she feared he might one day threaten her children’s claims.

It didn’t make it hurt any less.

**II)**

As a Man of the Night’s Watch, it was Ygritte’s eyes that made him feel so conflicted. It was duty that drove him to stay Beyond the Wall with the Free Folk. The Halfhand gave him instructions to infiltrate them and find out what he could about their army. But even still, what started as duty quickly blossomed into love. When she looked at him, her blue eyes were so full of love, and he imagined his own greys mirrored that.

But he also saw those same blue eyes full of rage.

He knew that their love could never truly last, least of all because of his vows. Ygritte could kill without hesitation. He managed to stay her hand, but she was ready to murder an innocent farmer during one of their raids without a moment’s doubt. He could foresake his vows for her, lay with her, love her even; but he could never stay with her.   
  


**III)**

When Jon travelled to Hardhome as Lord Commander, he knew the sight of the Night King and his White Walkers would haunt him for the rest of his days. His battle against one of the White Walkers was the hardest fight of his life, and he would never forget the thing’s blue eyes as it marched towards him; unseeing, yet they seemed to pierce right into his soul. If Longclaw wasn’t a sword of Valyrian Steel, he would’ve died a hundred times over in just the one fight.   
  


Even more chilling was the Night King himself. As he sailed away with the survivors, the King’s unnatural glowing eyes cut through the foggy sky and bore right into Jon. He raised his arms, and with them, thousands of dead men; his eyes never leaving Jon’s. The sight would never leave Jon’s nightmares, even long after Arya closed those eyes for good.  
  
  


**IV)**

Hours after Jon was brought back from the dead, Sansa fell into his arms. Before she arrived, Jon was ready to wander South, doing Gods know what for the rest of his days, but when he saw the look on her face, he knew he had found a new purpose. 

When they were children, Sansa’s eyes were filled with dreams. She dreamed of Knights and Ladies, Kings and Queens, and a love like the songs. Now, those eyes were filled with so much pain, all the dreams and the songs had been beaten out of her, and Jon couldn’t bear to see it. Jon knew then he had to protect her, and if he could help it, she would find her love for dreams and songs again. 

Somewhere along the way, his feelings for her changed. What started as something familial became something else entirely, and it frightened him. In his efforts to bring her North, Jon had lain with the Dragon Queen, and he was ashamed to think to himself that from the right angle, the firelight in the cabin almost made her violet eyes look blue.   
  


Jon’s love for Sansa was wrong. His feelings were dangerous, even more so when he came back to Winterfell and dared to suspect—to hope—that she felt the same for him. He thought it had to be his bastard blood that made him feel the way he did for his sister. Until suddenly, the wars were over, and he never was a bastard, and she never was his sister. They were free to openly love one another. Free to marry, and fill Winterfell with Stark children again.   
  


So they did.

**V)**

Prince Robb Stark of Winterfell was born in the first month of Spring. He was blessed with the same blue eyes and auburn hair as both his Mother, and his namesake. (Though if you asked Sansa, she’d say he would’ve been _more_ blessed to have Jon’s grey eyes and dark curls)

Every time Jon held his son, he could hardly believe he was real. Jon Snow had been a bastard, a Crow, a dead man, and a King. But now he was a father, and that was by far his favourite title. In his son’s eyes, Jon saw his dream of spring. Every war he had fought, every scar he had gained, even his death, it was all worth it when he held Little Robb.


End file.
